I saw a wasp in the garden yesterday
It was buzzing round the flowers outside the kitchen door
I had the oven hot for a bramley apple pie
If only I had known what that insect had in store, yeah yeah

It flew in through the ventilator
And made a beeline for the pie
Now, call me a wuss but I’m no exterminator oh no no
I couldn’t even kill a fly no no

So I opened up the shutter, tried to chase it out
Why I bothered I don’t know
It just keeps banging its head against the closed half of the half open window

Wasp on the pane of the window, use your brain
I tried to show you where to go, you only try and sting me
Oh wasp won’t you see that I am not your enemy
I just wanna let you go where the flowers grow and the songbirds sing

So i got out an empty jamjar and the envelope fromt he water bill
To send it back to the great outdoors from whence it came
And i swooped in to make the catch, but only bashed my thumb on the windowsill
That bug would not co-operate for shame no no

It buzzed past me really fast
And headed for my bedroom door
And when I though t I’d cornered it at last, it flew up high
And sat just out of reach till I got bored

It just crawls around the ceiling whatever I do
Why I bother I don’t know
It’s like I’m banging my head against the closed half of a half open window

Wasp in my house, why the game of cat and mouse
I’m not gonna eat you, please put away that sting
Why are you running from me when I just want to set you free
So you can buzz away and go where the flowers grow and the songbirds sing

I saw the wasp; I saw the garden out the window
But it clearly had no wish to buzz that way
So I got out another jamjar, but this one wasn’t empty no
I just took off the lid, put it down and walked away yeah yeah

It was full of strawberry jam so sweet
From the Fairtrade shop on London Street
My little black and yellow friend’s self control
Was no match for his undying love for
Sweet fruit conserves
He tried to empty that jar of every dollop
But a wasp’s eyes are bigger than its stomach
He had some sweet dreams about my apple pie
But he’d snaffled so much jam he couldn’t fly

So I sneaked back in and screwed the lid back on the jar
Hey there little wasp, I’ve got you now, haha!

Oh wasp, caught at last, now I drop you on the grass
You’ve had so much sugar you’ve forgotten how to sting
Oh wasp, soon you’ll see that in the garden you are free
When you wake up in a mo where the flowers grow and the songbirds sing

Well those flowers bloomed so sweet and happy
And that songbird hailed the bluest of skies
Alas, the bird was really hungry
And he gobbled up my wasp before my eyes

Oh wasp in the bird, you know I think that it’s absurd
When at last you really need it fast you go and lose your sting
You drove me right round the bend but I just wish that we’d been friends
Now I’m left here on my own where the flowers grow and the songbirds sing